Gaia is the word for "unity-of-life-processes". The experiment here is to unify the various threads of voice and sense of self together into an undivided unity. Spirituality, economics, politics, science and ordinary life interleaved.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Why Money is Nothing.

“Ben has my job.”

That’s what my ego brings up as I talk with Ben tonight in the pub. Because whether through chance, chaos, or coincidence, he works every day, while I languish on zero hours for an entire week.

Ben’s eyes are bright and grounded looking, and he feels more substantial . When I say that to him he nods.

“It’s work that’s done it,” he says. “I can only be sad for so long.”

This is why I am friends with Ben: he is so sweet natured and tender hearted, even when he’s being mournful or neurotic, that I can’t help but like him. When I can meet him in that feeling place, we both speak rapidly and carefully about how it is now for us both.

Before I can reconsider, I have confessed my secret reflections to him: briefly, I have noticed that whether I have plenty or a little money, I always seem to be worried about it. What is his view of that, I ask.

“Well, money’s nothing,” Ben says.

“You mean money’s not everything?”

“No, I mean money is nothing .

“After the trouble I’d gone through I know now that as long as I’ve got food in my belly and petrol for my bike, and enough for one drink at the pub – then money is nothing because my needs are complete.”

“But there must be stuff you want?”

“There’s plenty of stuff I want, but I don’t need it. What I need now is very very little.”

“Let me see if I understand you,” I say. “After having lost everything material and in support, you are aware you could lose it all again in a second…”

“…In a millisecond,” he says.

“...So it’s not worth valuing over the stuff you need.”

“Exactly.”

“Isn’t that a frightening way to see things?”

“Yes, but what can I say? Life goes on,” he says. “I had everything I wanted whenever I wanted it for 42 years, and now I don’t, I’m just as happy even though I’ve gone through the roughest years of my life.”

Later on, in an effusive mood, I approach and thank Ben with a long hug for his insight and for his generosity. He has got “my” job, but I have got something precisely as precious: the blessing of his hard-earned wisdom.

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